Wednesday, December 01, 2004

 

The Conspiracy Theory Conspiracy

The human animals of the American provinces of Oceania do love their conspiracy theories. These theories range from the hilarious ( the UN-Amish One World Order conspiracy to the ludicrous ( The Bovine Illuminati by a large array of tin-foil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorists out to hawk their latest conspiracy theory for profit, complete with books and videos about mysterious zig-zagging bullets, (fuzzy) photos of purported "alien invaders at Area 51", and various silly one world government conspiracies, all calculated to be, at their heart, unbelievable.

Calculated to be unbelievable by... who?

It takes only a few whispers to start a conspiracy theory, after all. Who does this plethora of conspiracy theories benefit, other than the Party? Finding a real conspiracy -- such as the Party's conspiracy to destroy democracy and control the counting of votes -- amongst all these various whacked-out conspiracy theories is like finding a needle in a haystack! And if someone DOES point out that, say, both of the major electronic voting machine companies are owned by Republican operatives and that electronic ballots cannot be recounted, why, all we of the Party must do is wave our hands dismissively, "Just another crazy Internet conspiracy theory", and everybody nods their head wisely and moves on.

If you cannot see the use of this plethora of conspiracy theories when it comes to covering the trail of the Party's own conspiracy to consolidate its power in the American provinces of Oceania, I congratulate you, for you are a typical sheeple product of the American "educational" system (which does not exist -- America now has a TRAINING system, which teaches human animals various rote skills needed to obtain and hold a job, not an EDUCATIONAL system, which teaches people how to think critically and logically about their world). Whether the Party has a hand in creating these conspiracy theories, or merely takes advantage of their existence, we of the Party are indeed blessed by this plethora of conspiracy theories amongst the two-legged vermin that we aim to rule, as is our rightful due!

Orwellianly Yours,
Karl Rove O'Brien, Bush's Brain

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